When Insults Had Class

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-- Winston Churchill



"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow



"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)



"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx



"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-- Mark Twain



"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde



"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend... If you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill...

followed by Churchill's response:
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is
one."
-- Winston Churchill



"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop



"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-- John Bright



"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb



"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
-- Samuel Johnson



"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating



"He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr



"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?"
-- Mark Twain



"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-- Mae West



"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde



Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party,
"Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"
"Winston replied,
"Madam if I were your husband I would drink it